Scenes from my so-called life

October 4, 2012 Dearest Lolo Foy, Happy birthday! You turn 90 years old today and that is, by current standards, no mean feat. I remember that the last time I wrote something like this for you was at your 80 th , when we held a party for you at a function hall in Kamuning, Quezon City. I may have forgotten the name of the place but I remember that we had a tribute for you then as well. Some apo I've turned out to be to have needed ten years to pass by before coming up with something new for you. I have taken you for granted. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It seems that I have the better end of the deal in our relationship as lolo and apo. I am just glad that I can stand in front of you and the family today to be able to thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for me. But more importantly, I am glad that I can tell you today, in front of every one, that I love you. I am sorry that I have not told you this more often, thinking it&

Yung masaya ako at makulit pag nakikipag kwentuhan. Yung kumakanta ako dahil wala lang at walang pakialam kung san at kung sino makadinig. Yung mapapaindak na lang ako habang nakikinig sa pangsayaw na tugtugin. Yung malaya ako.

I have tried doing things their way and I'm unhappy. To hell with that then. I'm doing it my way from here on end.

She's hunched over yet another case for the day, her forehead creased, a sigh escaping her lips once in a while. She knows the answers, much like she knows the answers to all the other cases awaiting her attention. What she lacks are four more hands and more funding. Whatever could be spared her first is welcome. It would be safer to bet on the extra hands. But then she beams as the next patient slowly peeks through the door. The farrows on her forehead disappear and the sighs are replaced with a flash of white as her lips part for a smile.

April 19, 2012 After allowing my anger and my bitterness, I have come to realize that what I was after from the beginning was to love her and ensure her happiness. And if she feels loved and happy now, I guess I got what I wished for anyway. It's just unfortunate that I am not the one doing the loving and making her happy. But it's more unfortunate that I was not the one chosen to be loved and made happy back. But that's life. I did say I'll respect her choice. So I'll respect it now. Besides, I have already gone through the motions. Allowing my feelings apparently helps me gain peace faster. However, just to be clear, I was hurt by what she did. I felt slighted being cut off and left to wonder what was happening and if I did something to offend her. It was also painful to have learned of developments from other sources instead of straight from her. I was hurt that she could not talk to me about it. I was expecting her to be better than that. But I