Scenes from my so-called life

 I miss you so much, Nans.  I wanted to write you a poem but I decided I didn’t want to be all mushy and poetic and stuff. I wanted to be true and not just acknowledge just the “good” things about you, which is what usually happens with poems. I wanted to remember you as someone human, as someone who also had faults. Besides, being flawed made you more endearing, I believe. You showed us that your imperfections did not hinder you. They instead helped you understand others more and love more. Your being human made you love the rest of humanity to the fullest.  I know that not all our moments before were great. We had our tiffs and misunderstandings - lots of those really. But then, when I think about it now, even those were great. It added character to our relationship as mother and son. We had our little dance – dance of swords sometimes. But we danced and that’s what counts.  Then, there’s the fact that I am your son. I am bound to be as feisty and stubbo...

Ihahatid kita Ng may buong pagmamahal Sa kung saan puno ng saya Kung saan puno ng kapayapaan Doon, ihahatid kita Ihahatid kita Ng may buong pagmamahal Kung saan ikaw ay mangingiti Sa lahat ng makikita, sa lahat ng madadama Doon, ihahatid kita Ihahatid kita  Ng may buong pagmamahal Hawak ang iyong kamay Ako ang iyong magiging gabay Doon, ihahatid kita Ihahatid kita  At ako ay mamamaalam Dahil sa kung saan ka pupunta Sadyang ikaw ay kailangang mauna Ihahatid lang muna kita Ihahatid kita At maiiwan muna ako dito Taglay ang buong pagmamahal sayo Ako ay ngingiti at bibitaw na Ihahatid lang muna kita Ihahatid kita ngayon Ngunit sa pagsapit ng aking dapithapon Ako ay umaasa Na may buong pagmamahal Na susunduin mo naman ako. *Para sa mahal kong nanay sa araw ng paglaya ng kanyang kaluluwa mula sa kanyang katawan.

Something I learned from the Pinky Webb and Edu break up: Just keep on looking drop dead gorgeous so when you meet the other person you could just tell him to drop dead. Have you noticed? Pinky's more smoking hot nowadays.

I don't steal because I don't want to be stolen from. Besides, stealing from someone only shows that I believe I do not deserve my own good. It shows that I believe I have to take that which is owned by another. That's just lack consciousness.  Well, I deserve the best and I accept the best now. After all, there's plenty for everyone including me. Better to heed the words of Ely Buendia and the Eraserheads when the thought of stealing enters my mind.  They said, "Shake your head and walk away."  

Hold hands. Because sometimes things could get discouraging and love, support and encouragement would always be welcome and appreciated. Hold hands. Because it is always nice to be reminded that you are never alone. Hold hands. Because there could be times of numbness, and a little squeeze is a good reminder that you are alive and things are still wonderful. Hold hands. But if there's no other hand to hold, then hold yours. There's a reason you were given two hands. Clasped in prayer, be still and know that there's a God holding both your hands. Again you'll be reminded and you'll come to understand that, even when "alone," you never really are.  

Funny thing about dark corners is that people tend to avoid them out of fear of what is hidden in the dark.  But to know what's there and to shed light on dark corners, one has to actually go there, bring their own light and see for themselves. And often, they find out that there's nothing to fear in the first place. It's just that, a dark corner. Sometimes, one could even find something of value in dark corners. It is often when venturing towards dark corners that one finds he or she has the courage within to conquer his or her fears.  I have dark corners to light and I'm on my way.

I am BJ. Son of Cecilia. Grandchild of Florentina. Like them I do not know what it means to give up. While I may sometimes lose heart and stumble, I know how to get up and try again.  At my weakest, I turn to my God and to myself for love and hope.  My family and my friends are my fountains of strength and my sources of peace . As long as blood flows through my veins and love fills my heart, I will push on.