Scenes from my so-called life

Ito na ang ika-lima. Matagal ko nang pinaghandaan ito. Alam mo yan. Nung unang taon pa lang sinabi ko na bigyan lang ako ng limang taon at matatapos ko din ang proseso ng acceptance.  Ika-lima na.  Partida na, tanggap ko naman na. Pero siyempre hindi maiiwasan--at sa totoo lang naman, di ko din naman talaga kaya--na hindi ka maalala at mamiss. Eh ilang pulutong ng tao nga ang hindi magawa yon eh, tapos ako pa?! Naman! Si Tita Rose na lang ang isang halimbawa. Nung nagkita kami nung isang araw, binabanggit lang niya na mae-enjoy mo sana yung Jungian conference na inattendan niya eh napaluha na siya. Paggising ko kaninang umaga, akala ko planado at plantsado ko na ang araw na ito. Pupunta ako ng opisina. Magpapanggap akong magtatrabaho. Pupunta ako ng vet at gagawin ang iba pang mga errands. Uuwi at saka uupo sa tapat ng computer para gawin ang taunang pag-alala sayo. Kaso nasira ang schedule ko. Nung umaga, pagcheck ko sa FB, ang bumungad sa akin ay ang post ni ...

Today, I celebrate my first anniversary as a Financial Advisor. It has been an amazing and life-changing year, spreading financial literacy and empowering people to achieve prosperity. I thank God for loving me and blessing me every step of the way. I thank my family and friends for their support and for always believing in me. I thank my mentors and colleagues for guiding me and inspiring me to always step out of my comfort zone. And, of course, I am deeply grateful to my clients for sharing to me their dreams and aspirations of moving toward financial independence; and for allowing me to make their dreams my own, as I help realize them. Realize them, we shall. It has been an amazing year and I know and trust that there are more amazing years to come. So, ikaw, anong plano mo? Usap tayo.

Siguro akala mo nakalimutan ko na yon, ano? Kasi nga naman limang taon na din ang nakalipas mula noon. Bakit ko nga naman aalalahanin pa iyon? Pero naaalala ko pa yon. Isa nga yon sa mga pangunahing naiisip ko tuwing naiisip ko nang bumitaw na o di kaya ay tuluyan nang pagsawalang bahala na ang lahat. Naiisip ko yon sa mga oras na gusto ko nalang sumuko dahil tila di ko na kakayanin ang mga pagsubok na hinaharap ko. Ang arte ko, ‘no? Naaalala ko nga, ang lupet din ng pag iinarte ko nung madaling araw na yon ng ika-8 ng Mayo 2008. Pero, salamat, dahil nung mga oras na yon, hindi mo inisip na nagiinarte ako. Kasi nga naman, nung mga panahong yon, totoo namang may suliranin ako. Siguro dala na din ng pagod at lubhang pagkatakot ko na mabigo at pumalpak sa inatas sa aking proyekto kaya ako nagmukmok ng mga panahon na iyon. Dapat maliligo lang ako at kukuha ng gamit tapos sisibat na. Pero napaupo na lang talaga ako sa silya sa tabi ng kama mo at nagsimula na ng drama. Isi...

October 4, 2012 Dearest Lolo Foy, Happy birthday! You turn 90 years old today and that is, by current standards, no mean feat. I remember that the last time I wrote something like this for you was at your 80 th , when we held a party for you at a function hall in Kamuning, Quezon City. I may have forgotten the name of the place but I remember that we had a tribute for you then as well. Some apo I've turned out to be to have needed ten years to pass by before coming up with something new for you. I have taken you for granted. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It seems that I have the better end of the deal in our relationship as lolo and apo. I am just glad that I can stand in front of you and the family today to be able to thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for me. But more importantly, I am glad that I can tell you today, in front of every one, that I love you. I am sorry that I have not told you this more often, thinking it...

Yung masaya ako at makulit pag nakikipag kwentuhan. Yung kumakanta ako dahil wala lang at walang pakialam kung san at kung sino makadinig. Yung mapapaindak na lang ako habang nakikinig sa pangsayaw na tugtugin. Yung malaya ako.

I have tried doing things their way and I'm unhappy. To hell with that then. I'm doing it my way from here on end.

She's hunched over yet another case for the day, her forehead creased, a sigh escaping her lips once in a while. She knows the answers, much like she knows the answers to all the other cases awaiting her attention. What she lacks are four more hands and more funding. Whatever could be spared her first is welcome. It would be safer to bet on the extra hands. But then she beams as the next patient slowly peeks through the door. The farrows on her forehead disappear and the sighs are replaced with a flash of white as her lips part for a smile.