Time-space warp, ngayon din!

Sunday afternoon. Lots of time in my hands and I was spending it by watching the final episode of Shaider, that iconic space sheriff, on YouTube. I could not help but crack a stupid grin as I watched him beat the crap out of Fuuma Lear’s big, fat, ugly a...uhh…head.

 ‘Let’s see you shigi-shigi your way out of a Shaider Super Slash, you scum of the universe, who lays eggs through your mouth, evil monster,’ I thought as the fight scenes began.

 There is Shaider in his shiny blue battle armor challenging Fuuma Lear to a duel. Fuuma accepts and reveals his mechanical body. At first he seems to be more than a match for Shaider but Shaider gains some resolve and is able to parry Fuuma’s attacks.

 The battle rages, Fuuma commences the time-space warp and they end up at the gravel-filled site at the bottom of a gorge. Then, this flying battle cruiser, shaped like Fuuma’s head, comes flying in firing a salvo at poor Alexis. Fuuma gets the upper hand. But not for long.

 “Vavilos!” Shaider calls out.

 It was pandemonium, as the five-year old in me rooted for Shaider. That head’s good as toast, I said to myself. (It is common knowledge that whenever Vavilos is called out the enemy does not stand a snowball’s chance in hell. It’s basically the same reaction when Steve from Voltes V shouts, ‘laser sword!’)

 “Matrix projection!”

 I was on the edge of my seat!

 “Super blaster!”

 Kaboom, baby!

 With the flying head out of the way Shaider resumes to open a can of whoop ass on Lear.

 “Shaider cutter,” he yells as he brandishes his glowing sword.

 Yeeessss!!! Stop the bastard from conquering the universe!

 “Shaider Super Slash!”

 Take that, vile Fuuma Lear!

 I jumped out of my computer chair. There was thunderous clapping, victory dancing. Fuuma Lear’s evil days are over.

 I settled down to watch the ending.

 Everything comes to order. The universe is safe. The space sheriffs have once again triumphed over evil. Peace is restored throughout the galaxy and Alexis and Annie are on a cliff near the beach watching the setting sun, proud of their achievements.

 Then it happens. Alexis looks at Annie. Annie looks at Alexis. Alexis invites Annie to stay with him on Earth, promises to show him the sites including Europe and America. Annie agrees. Alexis smiles at Annie. Annie smiles at Alexis. They shake hands and walk away, the sunset in the background.

 I was on the verge of tears. It marked the end of a saga.

 Then it hit me.

 They shake hands?! Alexis saves Annie’s life and saves the entire universe in the process and they only shake hands? Annie always wears those ultra tight, body fitting space sheriff uniforms or that skimpy, fringed battle dress that every boy my age tries to look up into every episode, just to know what color panties she’s wearing, and Alexis only shakes her hand? The sexual tension in the Vavilos whenever they’re in it together is so thick it could be cut with a knife and they only shake hands? No kiss? Not even a hug?! Shaider, you have failed us in the love machine department.

 Well, I guess not even a solar-powered, metal-suited, heroic space sheriff can be perfect.

 Sigh.

 Nevertheless, mabuhay ka, Shaider!

 Tu du dee du du du du du dee! Blue flash!

Comments

  1. Jeco PlacioAugust 1, 2007 at 12:01 AM

    did you know GMA's trying to do a remake of Shaider? Pero nabulilyaso ata yung talks so baka copycat na lang ang gawin

    ReplyDelete
  2. red pasetesAugust 1, 2007 at 9:36 AM

    ^ yup, nakita ko sa wikipedia. sabi baka end august na daw ipalabas. pero wala pa ding papalit kay Alexis. hehe.

    ReplyDelete

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