Scenes from my so-called life

Sa ngayon ay wala na siya. Alaala na lamang ang natitira. Ngunit mula sa abo na sa ngayon ay kanyang kinahinatnan ay babangon at magsisimulang muli. Hindi ito ang katapusan. Ang bahay na pinuno ng pagmamahal, kailan man ay hindi mabubuwag o masisira. Tila ito'y pagbabago lamang ng anyo ng bahay na pagmamahal ang nagbuo. Ito ang akin - ang aming - tahanan. Sa iba ay Sanctuario ang naging ngalan. Hindi, hindi pa ito ang katapusan ng bahay na binuo ng pagmamahalan.

It is when I am before the vastness and beauty of Mother Nature that I feel insignificant and valuable at the same time. Insignificant because in the face of such abundance and immensity, I realize that I am a mere speck in the stream of Life. Valuable because there comes this knowing, this feeling that despite being miniscule compared to the grand scheme of things, I am guided, protected and loved by a Higher and often Unseen Power. I marvel at the truth that in this big Universe I have been deemed deserving of so much beauty and potential. And I cannot help but be grateful that this mere speck has the glorious right to be here and be loved. And the good news is such a right is afforded everyone.

Ngayong eleksyon, madami akong nakikilalang nakaka-inis na tao. At mayroon din yung talagang bwakanang-siyet na lang. Ngayon, yung mga supplier na dinadaan sa pagpapacute ang mga bulilyaso nila, bwakanang-siyet yung mga ganon. Hello! May usapan na nga eh tapos biglang ngayon magiimpose ng kung ano-anong request. Kung di mo pala kayang tumupad sa usapan e di sana sinabi mo nung una nang hindi ikaw ang kinuha namin. Pero siyempre di pwede yon di ba? Sayang yung perang galing sa amin. Kaya nag-magaling ka. Eh nagmamagaling ka yun pala hindi ka din uubra pag oras na ng implementation. Kaya tayo naiipit eh. Lalo na ako! Nakakalbo na ako sa kakaayos ng mga problemang dinadala mo. Tapos ngayon, ano, may bagong problema ka na namang ihahain? Tapos sa akin mo pa gusto ipaayos?! Teka lang, ako (kami) ang kliyente a. Kami ang nagbabayad bakit kami mamomroblema? Bwiset! Kung tutuusin hindi ko problema na wala kayong pondo para sa manggagawa niyo. Ang linaw ng usapan natin, 50% down, 50% u...

Gotta get out of my comfort zone.

...but nothing comes to mind. Existentialism at nine in the evening doesn't appeal to me either. Maybe I just ought to go home, but staying late at the office seems to have become a habit of mine. I wouldn't know what to do when I get home. Sleep, maybe. I so miss that. That and staying in bed during the morning.  I ought to go take a vacation. A quick escape might do me good. I'm confoosed.. Crap!

"Had dinner yet? I'd invite you out for coffee but then you don't drink the brew. " Message sent. Message alert tone. "No, but some cafes have fruit shakes, right? Pshaw with cafes though. I'm hankering for some pasta." Reply. "You're always hankering for some pasta. Throw in some pizza and you've got a dinner companion." Message sent. Message alert tone. "Why would I want you around for dinner?! ;). Well, I guess having someone to talk to while munching on some fettuccine would be nice. It's a deal then. Pizza for you and pasta for me." Reply. "You are so sweet, you know that? The usual place then? I'll be there in 15." Message sent. Message alert tone. "See you there. :)" Reply. "Don't take eons, okay?" Message sent. Message alert tone. "Oh, hush! Get a move on!" Smile.

I don't know what to make of this whole elections hullabaloo. It has brought me stress, bouts of insanity, confusion, bouts of despair and more stress. Why I haven't quit just yet? Perhaps maybe I have really gone insane and/or have turned to a masochist. But seriously, maybe it's because I have chosen not to leave the people I'm working with hanging. I have no wish to abandon them. And I have no wish to give up just because times are tough. I want to add to what I know (or remember what I already know) and make myself better. I have chosen to see this through and I have chosen to stick to my choice. Besides, this whole ordeal also holds a lot of things I could be grateful for. I have been meeting a lot of people - most of them successful and wealthy - and I've been learning from them. I am hoping their winning attitude will rub off on me. I have been learning new skills like high stakes haggling. I had never expected that I'd one day be talking to suppl...