Scenes from my so-called life

"Don't aspire to be the envy of someone. Aspire to be someone's inspiration instead." - Red's musings while thinking about the future Life gets challenging at times but then that's life. I once was told that things become more difficult when we find ourselves ready for things to be difficult. If things were always easy, and we get used to the easiness, there won't be much development - if there is any development at all.  It's kinda like school. We go from grade 1 to grade 2 because we've learned and experienced everything there is to learn and experience in first grade. We must go forward. We must grow. And growing takes a lot of hard work. But I believe it's all worth it. We discover a lot of things about ourselves and we discover new and deeper ways to relate to the world and others in the process. We get from point A to point B. We become wiser and more aware - at least, I believe so. We get some scratches and bruises when we make mistakes

These lines have been running through my head the entire day. "How do you do that?" Do what? "Make it sound like everything's going to be okay." I feel like using them for a "Scenes I'd like to see" story. Maybe soon when I find the time.

She didn't. I won't. It's not over just yet.

I found you by the old tree sitting down, staring at the horizon. I wanted to sneak up and surprise you but you had that quizzical look on your face. So, I just smiled at the thought and let it go. Then I walked to you. “Hey! What’s up?” I said. “Oh, hi,” came your reply. You only glanced at me then immediately looked at the horizon again. You raised your arm and pointed toward you. “You see that?” you began.  “See what?” My eyes followed your index finger. “There’s nothing there.”  “There’s nothing, and then there’s everything,” you said. “Can you see what could be there?”  “You’re in one of your moods, aren’t you?”  You smirked and shook your head. I could have sworn I heard you murmuring “Moods,” under your breath. You sighed and gathered yourself up. You looked at me and smiled and you started to walk away.  “Hey, where are you going?” I said as I moved to block you.  “Apparently nowhere or somewhere, depending on how you look at it. I don’t know yet, really. B

 I miss you so much, Nans.  I wanted to write you a poem but I decided I didn’t want to be all mushy and poetic and stuff. I wanted to be true and not just acknowledge just the “good” things about you, which is what usually happens with poems. I wanted to remember you as someone human, as someone who also had faults. Besides, being flawed made you more endearing, I believe. You showed us that your imperfections did not hinder you. They instead helped you understand others more and love more. Your being human made you love the rest of humanity to the fullest.  I know that not all our moments before were great. We had our tiffs and misunderstandings - lots of those really. But then, when I think about it now, even those were great. It added character to our relationship as mother and son. We had our little dance – dance of swords sometimes. But we danced and that’s what counts.  Then, there’s the fact that I am your son. I am bound to be as feisty and stubborn as you. But I di

Ihahatid kita Ng may buong pagmamahal Sa kung saan puno ng saya Kung saan puno ng kapayapaan Doon, ihahatid kita Ihahatid kita Ng may buong pagmamahal Kung saan ikaw ay mangingiti Sa lahat ng makikita, sa lahat ng madadama Doon, ihahatid kita Ihahatid kita  Ng may buong pagmamahal Hawak ang iyong kamay Ako ang iyong magiging gabay Doon, ihahatid kita Ihahatid kita  At ako ay mamamaalam Dahil sa kung saan ka pupunta Sadyang ikaw ay kailangang mauna Ihahatid lang muna kita Ihahatid kita At maiiwan muna ako dito Taglay ang buong pagmamahal sayo Ako ay ngingiti at bibitaw na Ihahatid lang muna kita Ihahatid kita ngayon Ngunit sa pagsapit ng aking dapithapon Ako ay umaasa Na may buong pagmamahal Na susunduin mo naman ako. *Para sa mahal kong nanay sa araw ng paglaya ng kanyang kaluluwa mula sa kanyang katawan.

Something I learned from the Pinky Webb and Edu break up: Just keep on looking drop dead gorgeous so when you meet the other person you could just tell him to drop dead. Have you noticed? Pinky's more smoking hot nowadays.

I don't steal because I don't want to be stolen from. Besides, stealing from someone only shows that I believe I do not deserve my own good. It shows that I believe I have to take that which is owned by another. That's just lack consciousness.  Well, I deserve the best and I accept the best now. After all, there's plenty for everyone including me. Better to heed the words of Ely Buendia and the Eraserheads when the thought of stealing enters my mind.  They said, "Shake your head and walk away."  

Hold hands. Because sometimes things could get discouraging and love, support and encouragement would always be welcome and appreciated. Hold hands. Because it is always nice to be reminded that you are never alone. Hold hands. Because there could be times of numbness, and a little squeeze is a good reminder that you are alive and things are still wonderful. Hold hands. But if there's no other hand to hold, then hold yours. There's a reason you were given two hands. Clasped in prayer, be still and know that there's a God holding both your hands. Again you'll be reminded and you'll come to understand that, even when "alone," you never really are.  

Funny thing about dark corners is that people tend to avoid them out of fear of what is hidden in the dark.  But to know what's there and to shed light on dark corners, one has to actually go there, bring their own light and see for themselves. And often, they find out that there's nothing to fear in the first place. It's just that, a dark corner. Sometimes, one could even find something of value in dark corners. It is often when venturing towards dark corners that one finds he or she has the courage within to conquer his or her fears.  I have dark corners to light and I'm on my way.

I am BJ. Son of Cecilia. Grandchild of Florentina. Like them I do not know what it means to give up. While I may sometimes lose heart and stumble, I know how to get up and try again.  At my weakest, I turn to my God and to myself for love and hope.  My family and my friends are my fountains of strength and my sources of peace . As long as blood flows through my veins and love fills my heart, I will push on.

I don't have all the answers. But it's great that way. The process of getting the answers I need has been such a grand adventure.  Besides, where's the fun in knowing everything from the onset?

...when me and my barkada decide to play poker and pusoy dos from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. and settle with a bottle of Martini (which tastes like barbecue sauce) rather than imbibe horrendous amounts of alcohol and get ourselves wasted.  But Galut said it, "Minsan di niyo ba naiisip na hindi din worth it maging lango sa alak? Gigising ka may hang-over pa at di din naman tayo makapag-usap ng matino. Masaya naman tayo ngayon di ba?" Oo nga naman. Masaya nga naman kami non.

Don't worry when there are moments when life sucks. Life has this tendency to make it up to you in the long run and it adds a little something extra for the trouble.  Remember, when a fisherman's net is heavy it just means he has caught a lot of fish.  There're a lot to smile about in this world still. ----------- Today, I'm thankful. I'm alive. I have family. I have friends. I have work. I have loved another day. What are you grateful for?

Sabi nga ng isang kaibigan ko habang naglalakad kami sa initan, "Paano mo nga naman maa-appreciate yung lilim ng punong yan (sabay turo sa puno ng acacia) kung hindi ka muna mabibilad sa init ng araw?" Pagdating sa lilim sabi naman niya ay, "O di ngayon nagpapasalamat tayo dahil may lilim." Oo nga naman, di ba?

1) To be impeccable with my words. 2) To not assume. 3) To not take things personally. 4) To always do my best.

...My heart said to me, “Be a clear, glass coffee cup.”   -           That you may be open and transparent while being intact and whole. With what is inside being readily apparent to the outside. Be real. -           That whatever may be bothering you inside – maybe you’re filled with hot or cold emotions – you’d have a handle by which you can still reach out or be touched by those around you. After all, you’re never alone. It’s never a bad idea to have a hand to hold. -           That you can be filled with coffee, a love-filled brew – keeps you awake and aware and warm during even the coldest days.

(Written on January 8, 2009) I have recently been reminded that my life is filled with so much love. I’m grateful for such a reminder. I have declared that 2009 brings me my highest good and lots of love, especially the unconditional kind. When I really take the time to be aware, I notice that 2009 has been keeping its end of the bargain. I really just have to be aware. I’ve been met with challenges early on. But I understand that challenges, depending on the way I look at it, are really opportunities to grow more as a being. I happily and gratefully grab these opportunities. Acceptance and trust are what I’m practicing now. While I don’t know the how’s yet, I just have to go back to acceptance and trust. To accept things as they occur, with no judgments, and to trust that everything is as it should be and what I need to know will be revealed to me at the right moment. I’m not naïve, I know there are going to be some difficult times and times of forgetting. But as I said, life